The Perfect Stress Reliever

Why you need to schedule sex when life is stressful.


Right now the COVID-19 drama has many of us stuck at home and no one knows when it will end. Hopefully, this means you and your spouse are enjoying plenty of great sex. 

But maybe it doesn’t. If you’ve got all the kids at home, home-schooling is doing your head in, your job just went next level stress mode or you’re freaking out because you just lost your job or substantial income… here are some good reasons to schedule sex so you can stay connected.

BTW – The wonderful legends at One Extraordinary Marriage have talked about this for years. Here we go:

1. Lift your mood

Before the sex even happens, scheduling it in advance means you know what’s happening later.  This can mean a substantial lift to how you’re feeling.  The anticipation of what’s coming improves your mood, gives you something to look forward to and can really boost your feelings about your relationship for the day.  True!

2. Engage your connection 

After you’ve scheduled your next moment together you’re immediately moving in that direction.  Towards intimacy.  This is powerful in moving you towards your spouse.  You begin connecting more. Talking more. Laughing more.  A little flirting too.  You open up, mention that thing that you forgot to tell them, discuss a change or a problem.  And all along you’re also building healthy connection which will enhance your lovemaking later on too.  Works both ways!

3. Get your head in the game

Sometimes advanced notice helps.  Incredibly.  You can mentally prepare better for it if you need to. Not only are you building up towards it in your connection, loving each other by serving and in little sacrificial ways but you’ve also engaged your head in the process.  You’re also overcoming any mental hurdles early.  Instead of them building up to a flat “Sorry babe, not tonight” when sex is mentioned later.

4. Create a deeper path for your relationship

Hear me out.  The conversations that take place to get to a point where you’re scheduling sex out of love for each other and a desire to be better connected?  They’re powerful.  It’s this journey of your sexual relationship, the twists and turns where you’re leaning into fresh understanding, new ways of doing things and thinking about how to better love your spouse… that’s what helps to create a fresh depth in your relationship.

ALSO try a same-day approach. Let’s have sex tonight. Same thing.  Same result.

Sure, be spontaneous if you can.  But if you’re like us right now? Schedule that next moment. And love and connect towards it!

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