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How to Deal with Unmet Expectations and Not Kill Your Intimacy or Unity

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2018 Marriage Goal? Deeper Intimacy

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  • When your behaviour changes when he/she doesn’t do something, that’s called conditional love. When you withhold, withdraw, disengage, deny, punish, step back, stop doing what you should, lean away or change what you were doing, that’s called CONDITIONAL LOVE. Learning to love unconditionally is a process of internal growth. We are confronted with our own insecurities, unhealthy expectations, misplaced priorities and wrong mindsets. Loving anyway, with warmth, intimacy, serving, sacrifice, eye contact, smiling and closeness is how we begin to grow in unconditional love. Keep taking the conditions out of your love. You’ll struggle at times but don’t stop. You’ll grow through it too. And your marriage will become deeper, more stable and resilient as a result. : : #thehappymarriage #marriage #marriedlife #love #sex #intimacy #happilymarried #relationshipgoals #husband #wife #wifey
  • You can’t have quality without quantity. More time is key for a better relationship. Because marriage isn’t a series of transactions. Marriage is organic. It’s a flow. It grows and builds or it shrinks and withdraws. And time together is critical to a healthy, happy marriage. Regular. Consistent. Prioritised. Put down your phone. Better yet, put it in a drawer. Put down the Xbox controller. Put down your book, magazine, kindle, iPad, tablet, whatever and talk. Connect. Be curious. Curiosity is the key to connection. And time is key to exploring your spouses heart and mind and understanding them better. How can you make more time today? This week? Consistently? What do you need to say “No” to for this to happen? What can you quit today which will benefit your marriage and family? : : #thehappymarriage #marriage #family #selfcare #downtime #priorities #husbandgoals #wifey #love #intimacy
  • KNOW YOUR SEASON // We’re in the middle of an over-busy, less-connected, more-stress season. It means our home and heads are more cluttered and we have less margin to connect to each other and our family. This puts strain on our relationship and we need to have more grace for each other, love when we don’t feel like it and be kind in each other’s stressful moments. It’s not easy. But understanding your current context is key to framing how you need to respond. Recognising your season is so important so you can prepare and adjust your expectations, chores, support and schedules to connect more, alleviate pressure on your spouse and be generous and kind. What season are you in? Overwhelm? A nice flow? Space and margin? Tight financially for a while? How can you connect in this season? How can you love unconditionally? How can you communicate your needs? Expectations? Struggles? How can you both get on the same page in this season? : : #thehappymarriage #happymarrriage #marriage #love #sex #chores #life #kids #relationshipgoals #relationshipquotes #relationship #husband #wife #wifey #goals
  • Tell her she’s beautiful. Call her beautiful. Say, “Hey beautiful...”. This helps the guy because he’s continually reminding himself that SHE is his standard of beauty. This helps the girl because he’s continually reminding her that HE thinks she is still beautiful just the way she is. #thehappymarriage #happymarriage #marriage #wedding #weddedbliss #love #reallove #hubby #wifey #happy #joy #blessed #relationshipgoals #husbandgoals
  • There will always be opportunities to check out. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. The key is to keep saying “I’m in”. No matter what, I’m in. Despite the pain. Frustration. Hurt. Offence. Boredom. Craziness! I’m IN. In to make this the best marriage we could ever have. In to love you no matter what we go through. In no matter how crazy your parent are. No matter how tight the budget is. No matter how much the kids are driving us wild. I’m in this babe. Thanks for being in this with me. Tag the one you’re in with below. #thehappymarriage #marriage #marriagegoals #relationshipgoals #relationshipquotes #lovequotes #lovelife #husbandandwife #wifey #husbandgoals
  • It might be a hard season, month, week or day but the truth is “I am ridiculously blessed.” Feelings or comparison, disappointment or misplaced expectations can wear you down. Remind yourself of the truth. Remind yourself of the reasons. This will help keep you on track and in love during the difficult times. And never give up. #marriage #marriagequotes #marriagegoals #relationshipgoals #relationshipquotes #truelove #stayinlove #truthbomb #wifey #husbandgoals #thehappymarriage
  • Keep having fun. Don’t let the daily/weekly grind stop you from the art of PLAY and JOY with each other. Smile more. Make eye contact and smile with your eyes too. Make great love. Laugh. Connect. Enjoy. Don’t be too serious too often. Be playful. Muck around. Set a culture of joy in your relationship. #thehappymarriage #marriage #joy #love #relationshipgoals #lovequotes #marriagegoals #fun #cheeky
  • Hard conversations are essential. Dr Adam Matthews from the amazing @foreplay_radiosextherapy podcast said this in a recent mailbag episode. How these tough conversations start and then navigate the issue generally determines the outcome. We have always found that being kind at the start and then as we talk helps us love and respect each other and enables a far more positive outcome. The @gottmaninstitute also revealed that happy marriages have 5 positive interactions to every 1 negative one during conflict! Have the chat but keep your love on! #thehappymarriage #marriage #truelove #hardconversations #husbandgoals #wifey #love #reallove
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About

We’re Beck & Darren Chapman from Newcastle, Australia. We’ve been married for 18 years, have 4 kids and discovered in the last couple of years a real passion to help couples stay happy.

So here’s to never giving up, always setting it up for great sex, talking things out and kindness in everything!

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