Unity

Artificial Peace or Healthy Conflict?

by Darren Chapman | May 14, 2022May 15, 2022

Why avoiding conflict to get ‘peace’ comes at the expense of intimacy. 4-minute read.

Emma and Peter have what seems to be a happy marriage. They never seem to fight, they have a tidy house, a couple of newish cars and their kids are pretty well behaved. On the surface, everything looks good. Other couples look at them and are pretty jealous. Some of Emma’s friends wish they could be in a perfect marriage like hers. She and Peter just seem so compatible that marriage and family seem effortless.

But what Emma and Peter present to the world isn’t exactly what is going on underneath. On the surface, everything seems great. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? There’s a lack of depth. Their relationship is too shallow, the love is a little forced and their level of emotional intimacy is low. Why? Because they have created a marriage where peace is the highest value. Not intimacy. Not closeness. Peace and calm.

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