How to navigate different processing styles and speeds in your marriage.
When we first got married, whenever we would have a fight, I would want to talk about it immediately. Straight away I’d want to sit down, talk it out, work it out and move on as quick as possible. This did not work for Beck at all. She wasn’t able to do this. She couldn’t talk about it yet and, for a few days, she would brood and be distant. To me, it felt like punishment. Later on, I realised that was never her intention but at the time, it was really hard!
Even I was hurting, I’d still want to talk it out. If Beck was hurting, she couldn’t. It would frustrate the life out of me. Why couldn’t we just get it all out into the open, apologise, commit to doing better and move on in our marriage?
It just didn’t make sense to me.