The Five BIG Connection Killers

The glow of a perfect weekend away together feels amazing. We walk to the car hand-in-hand after enjoying some delicious food, glorious sex, loads of wonderful conversation and plenty of eye contact.  We feel more in love, more in tune, more loved and that we were enjoyed by our one and only.

These are moments where we have intentionally and organically connected. We return home with new strength to our relationship, a nice tinge of excitement and fresh hope for our future.

But the glow can quickly fade as the week goes on.  Even just walking in the front door we are reminded of the laundry, the washing up, kids that need to be picked up and the workweek about to hit us head-on.  By the time it’s Wednesday the incredible weekend you just had feels like it was years ago!

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How to Forgive Your Spouse

A powerful decision that can truly change everything Ruth Bell Graham said, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” You don’t need to be married for long before you are given an opportunity to forgive your spouse for something. A reaction that was hurtful, an action that wasn’t loving, a disrespectful comment.

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We Process Differently (and that’s ok)

How to navigate different processing styles and speeds in your marriage. When we first got married, whenever we would have a fight, I would want to talk about it immediately. Straight away I’d want to sit down, talk it out, work it out and move on as quick as possible. This did not work for

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Simply Enjoy Who You Have

Why you should just enjoy your spouse and what you’ve already created together You can’t enjoy your spouse when you’re in the comparison zone. If you’ve started down the comparison rabbit hole you’re already missing out.  You’re failing spectacularly by missing out on enjoying who your spouse is and what you’ve created and established with

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The Gratefulness Marriage Hack

Why being grateful is the antidote to comparing your spouse to others and how to make it a habit. Comparison is a trap that can be hard to escape from.  Opportunities to compare are everywhere. See my previous post on comparison.  The more you compare, the worse it gets.  Your view of your spouse gets

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The Danger of Comparing Your Spouse

Opportunity for comparison is everywhere. Almost everywhere you look is an opportunity to compare your spouse with someone else. Someone else’s body. Someone’s relational warmth. Someone else’s smile, figure, income, humour, house, kindness… I could go on. We live in the day of social media blasting everyone’s highlight reel into our faces and minds every

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Have a Weekly Business Meeting

Why a 20-minute meeting can be a game-changer for your marriage Susan and Paul live in a continual state of mild overwhelm.  They have 3 young kids including one at school. Life before, during and after COVID has maintained their normal level of busy and tired. 2 of the kids play sport, one is already

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Connect First

WHY CONNECTING IS YOUR GREATEST STARTING POINT FOR BUILDING INTIMACY You come home from work and it’s your spouse’s day to cook dinner. It’s later than usual and dinner hasn’t been started. The TV is on in the lounge room and you can see the warm glow and some shoes as you walk through the

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Stop Keeping Score

HOW CONSTANTLY COMPARING YOUR LOVE IS PULLING YOU APART. AND HOW TO FIX IT. Keeping score sets you up to fail. Why? Because ultimately you’re looking for a reason to withhold. You’re looking for a measurement. A comparison. You’re weighing up whether your spouse has loved enough in order for you to love. And eventually,

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The Clarity Series #1 – This is Us

Discover your family values so you can live well, be unified and pass them on to your kids. I love the statement, “This is us.” Its bold, confident and shows the person has done an internal journey of discovering who they are and what they stand for. I don’t see arrogance as much as inner

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